The Fan a Lympics
by fghh
Summary: A take on the Laff-a-Lympics,only with teams featuring the best and worst of fanfiction! Contains Mary-Sue bashing. Please R&R.
1. The Introduction

**Introducing the Teams**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters except for those in the teams. All others are copyright to their respective owners.**

Fireworks went off as the torch was lit. The cameras centred on two very well known commentators, and the crowd cheered as they arrived.

"Heavens to hilarity! Welcome everyone, to the Fan-a-lympics! I'm Snagglepuss, your co-host, co-star, co-presenter even!"

"And I'm Mildew Wolf, taking a well deserved break from those silly savages at the Laff-a-Lympics. I just hope this place isn't as cuckoo!"

"Afraid not Mildew. Here come the teams: the Witty Writers, the Funny Fan-girls, and the Evil Entities. Now to exit, stage right!"

"Where are you going?"

"To interview the Funny Fan-girls. You have to do the Evil Entities!"

All of the colour drained away from Mildews face. The last person who had interviewed the Evil Entities had ended up in an insane asylum. Mildew sighed and put on a special anti-evil protective suit. He then turned to Snagglepuss.

"Hey, Snag! If I don't make it, tell the lamb I'm sorry!"

He then walked towards the Evil Entities. It was going to be a long day...


	2. An Evil Interview

**An Evil Interview**

Mildew couldn't believe what he saw. He had never seen such a horrible team, well, except for one of them. He saw a tall girl who unlike the rest was pretty. No, more than that, she was divine. He walked up to her, his heart pounding.

"Hello gorgeous. Name's Mildew. Mildew Wolf. And you are..?"

"Mary. Mary Sue, teem captan of the eevil entitees."

Mildews heart shattered so loudly, it was audible. Despite his suit, the most horrifying thing in existence had gotten to him. He soon saw that she wasn't pretty, she was overly perfect. She had rainbow hair that changed colour constantly, a wand with the inscription ' Better than Harry Potters', and she was wearing what looked like a dress, over which was the Evil Entity vest, a red vest with a black horned 'E' on it. She was also wearing sandals, which was causing daisies to grow wherever she stepped.

"Lik mi dres mildew?" Mary said "It kan schaypshhipht 2. Eye luv the vest. Ol ov mi teem wayrs them."

"Uh, l-listen Mary, I have t-to speak to the rest of your team, so BYE!"

Mildew ran from one horror to the next, an average sized girl who was completely grey from head to foot. She wore a grey sweater, a grey version of the team vest, and grey trousers and shoes.

"So, you silly savage." Said Mildew "Just who are you?"

"Anti-Sue" replied the girl in a dull, monotone voice.

"So you're Mary Sue's counterpart. How does that make you feel?"

"It doesn't"

There's a word to describe this interview, Mildew thought. Boring! Then he spotted something. The grass around Anti-Sue had wilted, she was so dull!

"So, uh..." continued Mildew, desperately trying to get some excitement out of her "Do you think your team will win?"

"Maybe."

"Okay, that's it! You're so much of a bore, you could strike oil! Next!"

Mildew went over to the next entity, which looked like a man that was on fire. No, he _was _on fire, as was the grass around him.

"So, how-"began Mildew, but he was interrupted by the man's rant.

"OH MY GOD! YOU SUCK AT INTERVIEWING!! YOU SHOULD QUIT, CRAWL DOWN A HOLE AND DIE!!!"

"Shut up you savage, I just-"

"YOU LEAVE HERE AND NEVER COME BACK OR ELSE FLAMER WILL SCORCH YOU TO ASH!!!! WHAT!!!!!! HOW DARE I USE THIRD PERSON!!!!!!! I SHALL PAY FOR EVER THINKING I COULD FORM A PROPER SENTENCE!!!!!!!!"

The man then started to beat himself up and tried to burn himself. Mildew walked away from the nutcase and towards a purple ghost, who immediately tried to attack him. However, it just bounced off Mildews protective suit and growled.

"Nice try, but this suit repels all evil influences." Mildew explained, forgetting that Mary Sue had beaten it. "I don't need to ask who _you_ are. You're the Otherworldly Originality Corrupter or OOC for short. I've seen you alter my friend's personalities tons of times, and I don't intend to be your next target."

The ghost roared at Mildew as he walked away towards a green, orc like figure.

"So, what's your name you silly savage?" Mildew asked.

"You smell!" replied the figure.

"Right, Mr Troll. So how are you?"

"Snagglepuss is way better than _you_!"

"I'll pass that on to him. Favourite movie?"

"Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!"

"Right. Thanks for the interview."

"PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" the troll yelled as Mildew made his way to the final team member, who looked like a hideously warped version of cupid. His wings were black, he was ugly, and the hearts on his arrows were being cut in two with a butcher knife. He was also fat.

"Yeesh Cupid, you look terrible! What are you doing on this team?" asked Mildew

"I'm not Cupid! I'm Slasher, the one responsible for pairings that should only happen in nightmares! Oh, may I ask you something?"

"What, you savage?"

"Could you rig it so we win all the events? Otherwise I might make a pairing never attempted before."

"W-What pairing is t-that?"

"SnagglepussxMildew"

Mildew fainted at the image that entered his head. He had to be stretchered off the pitch. However, the doctors were happy. He looked like he would recover quickly, in time to watch Snagglepuss interviewing the Funny Fan-girls.


End file.
